Loneliness

I went to the market today and do my walking by foot alone. You know, when you are going a long distance without headphones in your ears with music or audio-book you are starting to listen what are saying your inside feelings and brain. You think about everything you can see: nature, buildings, people and yourself. You start to think about your moving as your way not to the market or somewhere else, but to the future. Little action is just a little puzzle as much as every day. Maybe it looks like an effect of butterfly. I don’t know. Was it is like I was alone in the whole world, but I felt emptiness like I was lost. I was continuing to think why I was there, what I wanted to buy or to do. What I needed to do? It was strange in one place, a little creepy but you know, I was not afraid of something unknown and of my stupid thoughts either. I was myself in the big world on a little peace of Earth, and alone. I got it.

Near of us an environment, governments, family, people who loves us, but anyway we are all alone. We born alone and will died alone. We are trying to do our life better with some ways: studying, working, making relations and exploring connections between… What’s a reason? For nothing or only for our memory? You will not discover anything, you know. You are not a scientist, who is also like you, though just a little more… But which discovery will change something? We will never know. I think it will not happened in our time. Well…


They say a lot about the loneliness, but it means nothing. You can love people, be far from them, miss them, live your own life alone or even with someone, but it’s not a loneliness without them, even if you feel this often. It’s just a boredom. The real sense of loneliness it is like to be a part of something bigger, as planet in the universe which go her trajectory without knowledge of the route.

What will be after all of “this”? Nobody knows. Maybe even dead don’t know… It’s so short space of time for every one of us… Thousand of millions years after this day maybe all be just an empty place. And there aren’t be something alive. No human, no bacteria, nothing besides the energy and darkness. And, what I wanted to say, oh yeah… When you feel this sense of loneliness while you’re walking under deep blue sky with white funny clouds, under warm sunshine, you are not afraid of it. You just follow your course into the infinity…

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